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Get it out! Get it out! Get it OUT!!!

Four weeks ago my uncle, my mother’s little brother, lost his 
battle with cancer. He was a beloved son, father, grandfather, brother, uncle and friend to all. I have been shaken to my core by his loss. To take care of 
myself, I have been breathing deeper and digging deeper into my 
life skills and yoga toolbox. I know if I’m not taking care of 
myself, I cannot serve anyone else.

When someone we love is suffering or leaves this human form, we 
experience every emotion possible: anger, fear, resentment, 
sadness, doubt in everything. We experience the five stages of 
grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and 
acceptance—sometimes all simultaneously—as we learn to live 
without the person(s) we lost. Holding these emotions inside our 
bodies and not allowing them to be expressed can manifest as 
disease (dis-ease) in the body, so it’s important to express 
emotions to release them, to transform them in some constructive 

Here are three ways I express my raw emotions so they GET OUT 
of my body and mind.

Get it out: Cry it Out! 

Crying Meditation

So you say you can’t meditate? Try this! I used to resist tears 
during my meditation, but I’ve learned to let it flow and call it 
crying meditation. Like John Lee Hooker said about the blues, “it’s 
in me and it’s gotta come out!” My heart is broken and the days are 
a struggle. I have to hold on to and/or control my emotions enough 
to continue to support my own life existence and my loved ones, 
both emotionally and as a partner, daughter, granddaughter, niece, 
teacher and friend. I know I must clear these emotions (even if 
only temporarily) in order to carry on with my daily life. So I sit 
down (or lie down in a restorative savasana) to meditate each 
morning with my timer. Even though I don’t feel like it some 
days—those days when times are hard and thoughts and emotions 
rage like storms, when fears, blame, shame, anger, doubt, love, all 
collide like lightening and thunder in the clouds of my mind and 
the tears flood down—simply showing up is part of the 
practice. Sometimes I cry for the entire meditation time. And 
sometimes, when the tears slow to a drip and I feel a warm stillness 
come over me, I have a knowing that things are somehow okay. I 
have surrendered my emotions to God for the day, and his grace 
will hold me up. 

When I meditate in less stressful times, I am usually more still, but 
tears can simply emerge without thought on those days, too. Either 
way, I just let it flow without judgment, knowing I need to get 
these tears out and soak a bit so I will soften and not hold tension 
(unreleased emotion) hard in my body. It’s okay to cry! This 
release will help us serve others more openly.  

Get it Out: Write it out!

Journal Writing

I’ve been keeping a journal off and on for most of my life. It gives 
me a place to dump my brain, vent, and just get everything out of 
my head without fear of judgment or of hurting someone. It gives 
me a filter of time and space, as much as I need or want. Seeing 
my feelings on paper, articulating them, helps me process and 
work through them. It also lets me begin working toward changes 
to create the life I want. Life is short!! Writing helps us get the 
thoughts out and process them with the time and space needed to 
shift perspective. You might cry-writing sometimes, too, where 
you let yourself cry as you write.  

Buy a notebook or a journal or open your laptop, and write it all 
out. Do not worry about spelling, punctuation, grammar, or 
legibility. No worries; just free-flow write what comes from your 
brain, from your heart to your pen. When you write an emotion 
down, you will begin to transform and release it. It may take a 
while, months or even years, but keep writing! You are channeling 
your emotions into the pen and your fingers. It’s a practice, it’s a 
process, get it out! (This also gives you the filter of time and space 
so you don’t have any social media regrets!)   

Get it Out: Talk it Out!  

Talk Therapy

Talk therapy has been a part of my journey for many years 
now. Sometimes when you are talking out loud about an emotion 
or stressful situation, you begin to release it. Sometimes you might 
even realize your own resolution. Many folks rely on friends and 
family for talk therapy (me too, sometimes) but this can be 
dangerous territory. Why? Friends and family have a history of 
relationship with you. They have certain expectations, and it’s hard 
for them to forget this and see things objectively. It can also be 
hard because family and friends often want to jump in and solve 
our problems. And, they are human, and can accidentally slip after 
promising confidences, which can cause chaos and pain.  
Therapists do not have a history of relationship with you and are 
therefore not attached to any expectations of you. They can view a 
situation from multiple perspectives and can help you shift your 
lens by shining light on areas of the situation you may not be 
thinking about. This will help you begin to see another point of 
view. A good therapist will call you on your BS too, ya know, the 
ego stuff. A good therapist gives you an objective sounding board, 
and nothing ever leaves the room. My therapist has been my 
mentor, helping me discover my own path in life by guiding me 
toward resources and tools and empowering me to help myself and 
be myself while serving others.  

So I challenge YOU—yep, I’m talking to YOU: Get it Out!! 

1.  Sit down and cry 5-10++ minutes as needed, daily.   

2.  Write in your journal 10-30 minutes/day. I do this before 

bedtime to help clear my mind for sleep.  

3.  Schedule a talk therapy appointment TODAY!! Check with 
your insurance. Even if therapy is not covered in your plan, it is 
well worth the investment. You don’t have to go every week if you 
can’t swing it; even every month or every three months will make 
a difference. Ask your therapist for some homework if you need 
more time between visits. 

As we move through our lives, we will continue to experience the 
five stages of grief. I hope this article will remind you of some 
tools such as meditation and journaling that will help you process 
your experiences. Take care of yourself so you can serve at your 
best, whatever you are doing!  

Peace, Love and Gratitude, 


29 Comments to Get it out! Get it out! Get it OUT!!! :

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Beth on Tuesday, June 30, 2015 3:04 PM
Thank you for being YOU, Shan, and for sharing YOU so honestly, fully, and authentically! I love your perspective, and your advice as well.
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Sondra Epperly on Monday, May 22, 2017 11:15 AM
Just wanted you to know that this blog has helped me in the past and now I have a friend that is needing help as her brother is sick and the fear is setting in fast. I wanted to do something to help her and I thought of you. This is her only family member and they are very close. Please pray for Pat and her brother Larry. I will be sharing this blog with her and several friends that are going through street and fear of losing a love one. Thanks for all that you do! The universe loves you and all your wonderful energy. I love your big heart! Sami
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Sondra Epperly on Monday, May 22, 2017 11:18 AM
Sorry for the misspelling of stress and my nick name Sasi.
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